


I'm With You

by Desirae



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Episode: s14e18 Absence, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Making Up, Missing Scene, episode coda
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-12
Updated: 2019-04-12
Packaged: 2020-01-12 08:57:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18443255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Desirae/pseuds/Desirae
Summary: “Thank you,” Dean found himself saying and Castiel cocked his head at him.“For what?”“For staying even when I used you as my verbal punching bag?” Dean offered, bitterly.“Dean-”“No,” Dean said, waving him off. “Don’t make this okay, Cas, don’t. This wasn’t just on you. It was all of us, and I shouldn’t have-” Dean voice broke as he shook his fist against his own bent leg; an agitated gesture that Castiel stilled by firmly lacing their fingers together and gripping Dean’s hand tightly. Dean allowed the pressure to calm him down enough to continue speaking. “I didn’t mean it. God, I hope you know that.”S14e18 Absence coda; We saw Dean yell, we saw them cool with each other the next episode. This is the moment in between.





	I'm With You

Dean found him on the roof; knees tucked up, trenchcoat wrapped tight around his body. Castiel’s eyes were closed and his handsome face was tipped back towards the stars.  It was a clear night, beautiful really. Far too beautiful for what had been such a horrific day.

 

“Hello, Dean,” Castiel murmured, voice raspier than usual and thick with what Dean suspected was tears. A fresh hot clutch of guilt reared up and grabbed him by the jugular and he cleared his throat roughly before settling next to the angel. His knees creaked on his way down, cold seeping into the seat of his jeans. They sat shoulder to shoulder in silence, the heat of Cas’ body warming his side as he budged up close to his long, hard lines.

 

Despite their last meeting, it was a comfortable quiet, albeit heavy, and Dean let the cool night breeze wash over him, carrying with it the unique scent he always associated  Cas; ozone, earth, and fresh rain. He breathed it in greedily as he side-eyed his best friend who was now staring straight ahead at the moon peeking above the trees.

 

“Thank you,” Dean found himself saying and Castiel cocked his head at him.

 

“For what?”

 

“For staying even when I used you as my verbal punching bag?” Dean offered, bitterly.

 

“Dean-”

 

“No,” Dean said, waving him off. “Don’t make this okay, Cas, don’t. This wasn’t just on you. It was all of us, and I shouldn’t have-” Dean voice broke as he shook his fist against his own bent leg; an agitated gesture that Castiel stilled by firmly lacing their fingers together and gripping Dean’s hand tightly. Dean allowed the pressure to calm him down enough to continue speaking. “I didn’t mean it. God, I hope you know that.”

 

Castiel reached his free hand out to cup Dean jaw, urging him to meet stormy-blue eyes filled with sympathy, regret, and something too powerful to name without Dean losing his breath. The corner of Cas’ generous mouth ticked up in a half smile.

 

“Of course, Dean. I’ve been in your head, if you remember,” Castiel gently reminded him in his gravel-laced voice. Dean snorted. As if he could ever forget; as if there were anyone other than Sam that he trusted more with his inner-most thoughts than Cas. “I know how you grieved for me, and I know how you react to losing the people you care about. I promise, “Castiel reassured him,” I’m not going anywhere. We are a family, yes?”

 

Dean found himself smiling at the words as his thumb brushed Cas’ knuckles under the stars. “Yeah, well. Good. If I flipped out on you like that a few years ago, you’da been outta here doing some crazy act of self-sacrifice.”

 

“Like saying yes to Lucifer?” Castiel asked, tone dust-dry and Dean shoulder-bumped him affectionately.

 

“Yeah, like that,” Dean said, allowing himself to sink into Castiel’s side even more. “Whatta we gonna do, Cas?” he asked somberly.

 

Castiel let out a heavy sigh and shook his head. “I don’t know. I can’t seem to reconcile the boy I’ve come to think of as family with the person who took Mary away from you and Sam. Yet the idea of hunting him down and… and killing him… it sickens me.”

 

“I know, Cas, it’s not something I want to do either, but we don’t really have a choice,” Dean said gruffly. “I don’t wanna have to go around you on this. I need you with me. I know it’s not fair, that I don’t deserve-”

 

“Dean,” Castiel said, thumbing a tear away from Dean’s cheek that he hadn’t even realized he’d shed. “ We’ll deal with this, together. You, me, and Sam. Whatever has to happen, I’m with you. Capisce?”

 

Dean let out a wet laugh, closing his eyes and leaning his head against Cas’ as they continued to sit, huddled, hands clasped. “Yeah, I capisce.”

‘

  
  
  
  



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